No, no you won't. Instead, we're going to take a dip into my mind in see some of my ideas for new super infected, plus a little bonus at the end, inspired by my co-worker, Matt. We'll go ahead and go in order from least likely to fit in, to what I personally feel is the best in the arsenal. Let's get started with...
Hound
(Art courtesy DarkHunter666 on Deviantart)
For the love of God, Valve, give me my zombie dog. Yes, I know, to this point the infection has been only human based, but it only takes the stroke of a pen (followed by some modeling, texturing, and programming.) The hound would be similar to that of the jockey as it would be short and it's main tactic would be to drag the player towards danger. However, unlike the jockey, hounds, would grab a player's leg and start dragging as opposed to their back. This does to the same game affect, but when coupled with the high riding jockey, it forces the player to make quick decisions of which way to aim, high or low. Even if you didn't want another dragging super, a zombie dog would make a great uncommon infected, being fast moving, shorter target, and probably hunting in packs. Audio cues being barks, growling, and howling. Seriously, why has Capcom been the only company so far to see the glory that is the zombie dog?
Scab
The name could stay or change, but the scab was essentially a soldier to became infected and still clung to his gear. When he/she mutated, their arm scabbed over their equipment, melding their rifles to their hands. In essence, the scab is the zombie that can shoot back. However, it does so carelessly, and with poor accuracy, simply seeing the survivors would cause it to fire wildly on full auto in their direction, the recoil causing them to buck about. This forces the player to take up new tactics on the fly, namely, slowing down, and using cover. If the survivors can kill the scab in time, they can recover its gun and ammo. Audio cues would be occasional test firing the weapon, and the sound of static from a two-way radio still on the scab's clothing.
Harpy
The harpy is a witch-level super that wouldn't be able to be used in verses, but would make for a formidable super in single/co-op play. The harpy waits on rooftops and on windowsills for the survivors to walk underneath, then she takes flight. Yes, flying zombie. She would be a combination of the hunter and jockey in that she'd pounce on the player, but instead of mauling them on the ground, she'd flap her wings and start carrying the player into the air. The survivors would have to act quickly to shoot her down, accepting the resulting fall damage, because if they don't, she'll carry the player off to another part of the map dropping them where horde and other supers wait. Audio cues would be flapping wings and screeching.
Urchin
So you're moving along with your group dispatching horde, and a super clamps onto your side, halting your fire. Is it a jockey, or a hunter? But, before you can call out, your team mates must have killed it already because it's gone. You finished off the horde, and you're health is low but when you go to heal you find your health pack gone. You've just been struck by the urchin, a super that specializes in snatching your health items and secondary weapons when you're distracted. Of course it could never steal the gun you're holding, and would always leave you with at least a pistol, but all those other well earned items you fought for are fair game. Unlike the other supers, the urchin's audio cues wouldn't be intimidated, instead, it'd be giggling. If Valve has the guts, the urchin might be a good chance to include zombie children.
And finally, the main course...
Stinger
The most unique, and arguably the most dangerous of the lot, the stinger as you can see has mutated long poisonous quills, but these pointies are only part of what makes it dangerous. It's what happens once you're pricked by one of these. You see, the stinger's poison is a hallucinogenic. When the stinger shoots one of these into a survivor, the player starts to see and hear things that aren't the most truthful. Common infected will randomly appear like supers, supers will appear like common infected, audio cues will come when the super isn't around (imagine the rumbling and roaring of a tank that never shows), and maybe even see one's teammates as infected. This forces the players to talk to one another and adjust on the fly. Plus, if Valve did like I suggest, and not let the player know if they've been hit by quills or not, it'd leave players always with the tension of wondering if they're shooting the right target. Audio cues would be the rattling of quills, and heavy breathing.
The interesting thing is that I was trying to think of new supers when I went to bed, and I had a dream that I was playing and I suffered these effects. It was rather exciting, so when I woke up, I thought up the quills and the name. All in all, I really think the stinger would be the most interesting of all those listed here.
Bonus Round
So, I was at work, and I was talking about my theories for Left 4 Dead 3 and 4, when my co-worker shared a fantastic idea with me. He was hoping that 3 would actually be a prequel, dealing with the start of the infection. What a great idea. Not only would it add to the story, and offer up the new twist of common survivors running around making aiming tougher, but would also offer up interesting new campaigns depending on how Valve decides the infection originated. Personally, I have the images of running through once-sterile-now-blood-soaked labs as a scientist, containment trooper, a janitor, and an administrator. Just sound's awesome to me. Not to mention, if they went with my idea for 4, it'd be cool to see how the survivors lasted through the events of the first two games.
Well, I'm Left 4 Deaded out (speculating on it anyway.) Next time, I think I'll share a little idea I had for a Blizzard Fighting game.
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